


Do you Think You're Better Everyday?

by Abbigale



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Brian has a messed up backstory, Freddie's sad boy hours, I am not a professional writer, John is cute, M/M, Roger has an abusive boyfriend, Roger starts as an asshole, This book takes place in a Modern day era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-08-19 14:24:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20211226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abbigale/pseuds/Abbigale
Summary: Brian May is a new transfer student to an American school. There he met three completely different men at first. One was real "cool", wearing leather jackets and could fight anyone he wanted to. One was really shy, but glad to meet new friends.But then there was one, for some odd reason Brian couldn't lay his eyes off of and he wanted to know more. A Blondie that teases, is pretty rude, he knows just how to make anyone laugh, except Brian. This person knows how to make someone upset, he can be pure, he's also ferocious. His name is Roger.Brian ends up learning more about Roger as days pass by. What are they both really hiding and keeping inside from each other? And how much is it going to break them apart?ORBrian goes to a new country in a new school and meets Roger, a boy he quickly falls for.





	1. Chapter 1

This was the fresh smell of starting over. My family and I moved to America due to my mother's new job. My school back in London was awful, I managed to lose all my friends in a heartbeat. But now here I am, driving off to my new school, in my new country, off to make some new friends.

My father told me that instead of being an upper school student, I'm a "sophomore" in grade ten. I have no idea. as American school systems are weird.

I have a passion for space, and that's what I want to go into university for, and not be made fun of for being a "nerd".

\------------------------------

I made my way into the large office, gulping back all of my salivae and gripping onto the strap of my shoulder bag he was used to carrying around a lot.

The school already seems so big and I'm not even inside the actual school yet.

It was the morning, and classes were supposed to start in about twenty minutes, so I can consider myself early. The lady at the front desk showed me a smile and gestured over to her.

I took a huge breath and walked over with a smile, you always have to make a good impression, especially to the first teachers and staffs you see!

"Hello! How may I help you?" She greeted.

"Hello, I'm actually the new transfer student."

"Oh! We were actually expecting you, you're Brian Harold May correct? From Manchester?"

I nodded my head gently. She smiled another time before she turned to her computer and started sliding her computer mouse and clicking. She turned to her printer as it started to print out one sheet of paper. As soon as it was done, she pulled it out and handed it to me. I gladly took it and examined over myself.

"So there's your schedule for the day and official locker number. Tomorrow come back in the morning and I'll get you a tour guide, but as it's your first day you can just explore and ask people where certain places are. Enjoy!" 

She seemed to be very kind, so I wouldn't be surprised if this school was considered really strict with their bullying and fighting. Which was absolutely great. Simple, if the teachers are kind, so are the students.

"Thank you very much, miss--" 

"Mrs. Cragsteam."

I didn't exactly know how to pronounce that, first time hearing it, so I just simply nod and finally walked through the other door, an entrance to the campus. I wonder how decently nice the kids will actually be.

Once finally walking through, I watch an innocent looking guy with Brown wavy hair and light skin get pushed against the lockers roughly, causing a huge bang. And who pushed him? Some dark toned guy with long-ish black hair, tight jeans, red shirt, and a leather jacket. Great.  
And then there was a guy on the other end, standing against the other side of lockers, with long brown hair and... weird lips? These were pretty much the only people in this hall at the moment, so I could easily hear what was going on. I didn't get time to notice any more of their details before...

"If you fucking lay a hand on him I'm going to fucking rip your face off, bitch!" The dark-toned guy yelled. The innocent-looking guy was shaking and finally ran off down the halls. This scary guy reminds me of some kind of biker from the 80s. Wow, he's British.

Biker dude scoffed and turned around towards the weird lips guy and walked up to him.

"Freddie, was that necessary? All he did was touch my shoulder." Weird lips guy said, almost laughing a bit. So his name was Freddie?

Freddie stopped, struggled with his words then said, "Y-Yes!" And with that, he strutted off the opposite hall than the other guy ran off to.  
Weird lips guy sighed softly and then made eye contact with me. I froze, this might've been the first person I was ever going to interact with here.

I take back everything I thought about this school being strict about kindness. Everything.  
Actually, who knows? Maybe that was just ONE problem that no teacher witnessed? I'll give it another chance.

Weird lips guy smiled, "Hello! You must be the new transfer student people have been talking about!"  
People were talking about me? Seems nice enough.

I slowly walked over and stood next to him. "Yeah, uhm, nice to meet you. I'm Brian May." It's weird because it seems like this guy has already completely forgotten about what just happened.

"I'm John Deacon. But people call me Deaky sometimes, I guess."

I nodded gently and layed me back into the locker right next to him, my curiosity got the best of me. "What just happened, might I ask?"

John starred off and sighed, "Freddie is a friend of mine. A protective friend. A very protective friend."

It makes much more sense now, I'm sure this school can't be that odd full of annoying people.  
"Ah," I replied.

We both stayed quiet for a moment. I guess no one was ever really early, because looking down the long hall all I see is a couple of people talking, and another at their opened locker.

Not going to ignore the awkward silence at the moment, cause fuck it's awkward.

"Mind if I showed you to your first class?"  
I guess I don't have to use my locker yet so I can have all my things with me just for today so I know what I need for each class.

Doesn't seem too bad of an idea. "Sure," I looked over my schedule sheet and read out my first class. "Mr. Beach."

John leans up from the lockers and gestures his hands towards him and starts to lead the way, and I follow next to him down the halls and turning.

"So, Brian-"

"Hm?"

"Tell me about yourself!"

I guess he's interested.

I stutter before speaking, "Well, I moved here from England, and uh- I like... space I guess?"

Needless to say, my explanation wasn't too detailed, causing John to chuckle a bit, staring off at the way to our destination. "You seem shy, did you have friends at your last school?"

Memories started to flood in.  
Tears, fighting, screaming. Not a thing I really want to remember again. "I did, but eh- shit happened, rumors spread like wildfire, and lost them all."

John looked over at me with an empathetic look, "Oh, I'm sorry about that."

"It's fine. I'm over it."  
Or at least I'm trying to be over it.  
John stares off, again and looks back with a look of an idea,  
"If you really have no one to hang out with, you can sit with me and my friends at lunch. You really don't want to be sitting alone at this school during lunch."

He makes it sounds as if this school is a huge threat, which scares the hell out of me.

"Sure!" I accepted, scared of any outcome he meant about me sitting alone. 

We both finally reach a classroom door and there were imprinted letters on the side that read, 'Room 202- English'.

"Here it is, well I'll get going because my classes are literally a ten-minute walk from here," John says, causing us both to snicker. Makes this school sound even bigger than I thought

"Why is your first class so far from mine?"

"I'm a freshman, and there's a whole different section for each grade."

Makes sense, but still a huge school.

I nodded, licking my dry lips standing next to the door. "Where can I find you at lunch?"

"I'll be at the very front door of the cafeteria. Just follow where everyone is going and then I'll be at the door waiting for you if not, wait for me there."

"Sounds good."

John smiled and walked off. At least I was greeted by him and not some scary brat or something. But no chance of him being in my classes, because he's in a whole different grade.

I looked back and forth, then realizing, how long am I going to have to wait for school to start?

I lifted my arm to check my watch, biting skin from my bottom lip.

7:40.

School starts at 8:00.

Where is everybody?

\-----------------------------------------------

As I'm sitting on the floor, bag in lap, I hear a loud bell ring just as I see a group of people walking closer, laughing and talking. There were a few people by the door that came already, earbuds deeply plugged in, not with the appearance of wanting to be here. I throw my bag over my shoulder and stand up, waiting at the door. Some people stood by next to me, and behind me. Crowded as hell.

Why do I feel like I'm being watched?

I slowly turned my head to a strange guy with circle glasses staring at me, er- kind of glaring.

Even when I look back at him, he squinted his eyes more. I speak up, "Can I help you?"

"Are you new here?!"

I slowly nodded, before he could say anything else I heard the classroom door click and open as I'm turned to it.   
This must be Mr. Beach. Tall, and looked like an oldish guy that was usually someone's friendly neighbor or something.

He sighed, staring at all the talkative kids, eyes half-closed, not even acknowledging me. He held the door open, back against it and hands stuck in his dress pants pockets. "Alright, come in." 

Being the closest to the door, I walk in first but stand in the back of the large classroom, not knowing where to sit. The room filled with students who started to sit and settle in. 

Quite intimidating, if you ask me.

Everyone finally sat down, and Mr. Beach closed the door. And finally, we made eye contact. Scary eye contact.

"Are you the new transfer student?"

I nodded, tapping my foot.

"Right," his eyes scanned around the classroom, eyes landing at a spot, "Go sit next to-" 

He paused with an annoyed look, I looked over to where his eyes were pointing. Two empty seats next to each other. "Just sit in the far left one..."

He mumbled something along the lines of, "He's always late" while walking to the front of the class. I obey his orders and walk down, noticing a few people staring at me as I sit at the very far left desk in the back corner of the classroom. I set my bag onto the floor and folded my hands, watching everybody opening up notebooks and crap.

I watched the teacher sit at his desk. "Please complete the question on the board."

Not sure if I'm obligated to, but why not?

'What is a claim?'

Well if that's not the easiest English question ever. I learned this so long ago!  
Maybe I will do pretty well in this school.

Suddenly, I heard the classroom door open. My curiosity got the best of me and I turn my head towards the door, as did many others in the class did as well. 

A short man with medium length blonde hair came through shutting the door and staring at the teacher with a wide grin, notebook, and binder in hand. "Hey, Miami! Miss me?" He waved gently at him. I looked back at the teacher glaring at him, "Mr. Taylor, you're late again. What's today's excuse?"

The little man tapped his chin, obviously being sarcastic about it. I listen to the classroom's quiet chuckles and snickers. It's not really funny. "Hmm..."  
He sounded British as well?!

"Nevermind, just please take your seat. Late again tomorrow, it's a detention slip. It is only Monday morning." 

Of course, what's a class without a class clown? As long as he doesn't interfere with MY work, then it's fine.

He quietly scoffs and makes his way over to the desk to the right of me and plops down, allowing me to get a better look of him. I watch as he opens to one of the first pages of his notebook. I thought I came to this school half-way through the year, not the very beginning. Why is he only on the 3rd page?

I watch him title the page of the college-ruled notebook paper, 'Bellwork shit - September 13th'. Sloppy handwriting.

I looked up after I saw him flip around the wooden pencil in his fingers and he stuck his tongue out slightly between his bright pink lips starring at the board. His bright deep blue eyes remind me of Bette Davis, a beautiful actress throughout the 30s and early 60s. I'm into "old-school" things, alright?

As fast as the speed of light, the man snaps his head towards me to stare into my soul. I shivered a bit by his evil glare and started down at my folded hands on my desk. 

"Who the hell are you and why were you staring at me?!" I heard his strange British voice question me. Okay, three British people, I found now! I'm not the only one for sure!  
His voice awfully scares me though.

I looked up slowly and whispered, still knowing we were in class, "I'm sorry. I am new here, actually. Name's Brian." I smile sweetly. I already don't want to be on this little man's bad side. He narrows his eyebrows, "New?"

I nod slowly.

He laughs quietly, but coldly, turning his head back to the board, "Good luck with that, mate. This school will kick you in the ass by tomorrow."

I ignore his small threat and try to carry on a conversation, "Because I gave you my name, Mr. Taylor, why don't you give me yours?" I tease. He turned his head again and snickered. "Listen, pretty boy," he speaks.

I tilt my head with a slight smile, allowing him to continue.

"I'm not a person to make friends with some new transfer student smart kid-"

"Is that so?"

"Very. Therefore, you'll never find out my name very soon. And when you do, it'll hit your balls with a-"

"Roger!" We hear the teacher yell and we both turn our heads to the front of the classroom with Mr. Beach standing in front of the board.   
Bingo. Roger.  
Roger seems pretty stuck-up, but it's intriguing.

More like Roger fucking rabbit with those... uh... teeth of his.

"You'll get a chance to learn about the new student in a moment, but right now why don't you inform me of what a claim is?"

The whole class looked to Roger, seeming like they want some kind of joke from him to feed off of, even I look over, just curious.

"Inform you? Aren't you the teacher, supposed to inform me?"

The entire class snickers, except me, watching the teacher mentally regret becoming a teacher by face-palming. 

"I did teach on claim a week ago, tell me what it is. I'll raise your D- in this class." He crossed his arms and tapped his foot.

D-?! Makes me wonder how he's doing in the rest of his classes.

Now Roger seemed to be somehow panicked, looking like he didn't want to show it by keeping a small smirk on his face. Something tells me he wants this higher grade.

"Uh... It's- it's when..."

I can't help myself. Now many students were whispering off to the side, causing much noise in the once quiet room.

I cup my mouth but leave an opening towards Roger and whisper a simple version of the answer, "A statement one can insist."

Roger looked over and back up at the teacher, "A um- A statement someone can insist?" 

Mr. Beach looks to be almost shocked by the fact that Roger actually answered it correctly. I'm shocked me only due to the fact that he didn't catch me telling him the answer.   
The class got quiet again.

"Great answer. Good job. I'll raise your grade by 15 points, I'm really trying to help you, Mr. Taylor." Mr. Beach says with a smile and then claps, looking at me with a smile and then looked around to all of us "If you hadn't already noticed, guys, there is a new student here with us and because this is an interactive class, I want you guys to learn about him a little, like how we went around the very first day!"

Not even a thank you from Roger?  
I couldn't help but look over to Roger while he was speaking, who's staring down at the paper, jotting something down in his notebook under the title. I squinted my eyes being nosey and read, 'CLAIM- A statemeant one can insiste'.

I smile slightly to myself at his mis-spellings but then stare back up at the teacher who looks at me.

"You may come up and tell us about yourself."

I rose my eyebrows gently and slowly stood up walking to the front of my class. Like with John earlier, I don't think I'm really prepared on what to really say. 

I look at the many faces staring up at me and I awkwardly smile. "H-hi. I am Brian Harold May and I'm a transfer student from London, England."

Mr. Beach can tell that I'm a bit shy obviously, so he tries to help out by asking, "What do you like to do, Brian? Hobbies?"

I thought for a moment about a few things I enjoy doing, my eyes land on this girl on one side of the classroom smiling at me with some kind of heart-eyes and her head in her hand. She has long dark hair covering half of her face.  
A girl? Starring at me? How flattering. Sadly I'm not into girls- heh.

I felt heat creep up to my face and I stumble over my words, "I-" I peer my eyes away and take a glance at Roger with a bored look on his face and also resting his head in his hand, but instead of his hand being in a fist, he's flipping me off. He smiles once I notice. I clear my throat loudly.

What a bitch.

"I like to read and study about space and the cosmos. Also, my father and I built an electric guitar together and I... play that I guess."

Suddenly Roger yells out, "Are you any good, Harold?"  
The class laughed and giggled, he's obviously trying to embarrass me or something. I speak with sass in my voice, "Actually, yes. I think I am."

His lips parted slightly. I think I taught him how to actually respect me. Maybe.

\------------------------------------------------

I walk between a crowd of many people making their way to the same place. The cafeteria. John said to just follow everybody else and that's what I'm doing.

I can hardly breathe, there are different smells coming at me from all different angles and it's loud as hell. I smell a large amount of cologne around me and loud screams of people who play American football or some kind of competitive sport.  
"YO, GO LONG!" 

A ball was thrown across the long full hallway, and I heard a few screams.

I need to get out of here.

I finally look up and see the crowd stepping closer to large double doors leading outdoors people started moving into and spreading out. Thank God.

I then remember that John should be waiting for me out here. I stop at the entrance and look left, and then finally right to see John smiling at me leaning against the wall by the door with his arms crossed as people pushed past me. I move out of the way to avoid getting trampled on the first day and stand on the other side of John.

"Hey!" I greet, glad to see him. "Hi." He yelled over the talkative students still filing up the cafeteria. It seemed like there were a lot of fucking students.  
"Does the whole school all eat at once or-?"

"No, but it's just as bad. Two grades at a time eating together. Freshmen and sophomores eat together, and Juniors and Seniors eat together. Still very packed, but the outdoor eating area is very large."

I nodded slowly, what was this school thinking? This could leave to crazy interactions between older and younger people. 

At least John is a freshman, only good thing about this feature. I stared at the doors still filling up, almost finished by the look of the pile of people shortening. "Let's wait til' it dies down. That's when I usually go out." He says. I agree so I look at him with a short nod and smile.

"So did you meet anyone new besides me?"

I thought for a moment, I really only met and learned the names of the teachers and... Roger. I decide to keep his identity a secret for now, because gossiping never gets you anywhere and I learned that the hard way at my old school.

"Well I met this guy, pretty stuck-up and snobby, but I think he's already taking a liking to me!"

"What makes you say that?" He rose an eyebrow.

I thought for a few moments while staring at the floor. "In the first period, he was pretty rude to me but I helped him out with a question and he didn't really insult me more after that. And he was in a couple of classes after that too before lunch, but he sat across the room and I could have sworn he was glancing over at me a few times. Maybe he does want to be my friend."

"Sounds like a shy brat that acts all tough!" John laughs, I laugh along with him because he don't wrong. Finally, the crowd of people died down and John gestured for me to come inside. I followed behind him and he stopped to scan the too large area for a moment before eyes finally landing at this one table with one person seated and started walking towards it.

I tightly grip onto my bag strap, watching people in line at different food carts, people sitting at bench yapping about whatever is on their young minds. 

We finally stop at the circular bench table with the guy I think I saw this morning sitting there. He had three plastic containers of what seemed to be pasta stacked up on each other, he looked up at John with a smile. "Hey, Deaky! As I promised, I bought you and Rog pasta because I lost the bet." John chuckled and that's when Freddie and I make eye-contact.

"And who's this?"

John seems to have finally realized that I and this 'Freddie' guy have never formally met. Though I think I might saw him in one or two of my previous classes. "Freddie, this is Brian. He's a transfer student and we should make him comfortable I thought."

"Listen, Deaky. You're adorable and all, but you really think people like us can help him get used to a school like this?"

John shrugged, "Better than him sitting on his own."

Freddie shrugged at the point and looked up at me with a wide welcoming grin. "Welcome to the family, Darling! I'm Freddie."

"Nice to meet you." 

John sat next to Freddie and I sat across from John. Then they start having some conversation and cheese in toast and I have no idea why. I think its better that for now, I don't really join in on the conversation. I'll just say something wrong and screw everything up like last time.

That's when Freddie handed John one container of pasta then looked around. "I don't think Rog is showing up today so here ya go-" he tried handing me the mini box but I declined.

"Oh! No, no it's fine. I- I brought money to buy my own lunch you really don't have to-"

"I was forced to buy it anyways! Go right on ahead." 

I checked his expression one last time to see if he was serious and surely enough, they both had polite smiles on their faces. I ran into the right people on my first day.  
I wonder who this 'Rog' guy is, whoever it is, I'm eating up his pasta!

"Thank you," I say, gently taking the box and opening it and pulling out the fork to start eating.  
Once again, they start talking about something to each other, and I just space out this time.

Chewing softly on the pasta and starring off to the right of me, head rested in the palm of my left hand. Suddenly, everything goes in slow motion.

I see him, Roger, walking towards our table, backpack hung off of one shoulder, with the same glaring look he always has. I gulp audibly, already feeling my fingers tingle. Be cool like earlier.  
Wait what if this Rog guy is Roger?! Or is he just stealing our lunch money?

Once he stops in front of our table with a blank stare looking at me, and back at the other two. "Why is curly sitting here?"  
"My name is Brian." I correct him. He rolls his eyes and looks down at me. "Oh, that's right. I must've forgotten."

How is someone like this friends with people like these?

We share a moment glaring at each other, deep into the eyes. I think he's doing it out of being scary, but little does he know that I'm enjoying the sight of his big blue eyes and his well-separated lashes. Fuck, he could easily be a girl if he wanted!  
He's too rude for me to ever like him that way though, never dealing with that again.

John finally broke the weird tension, "Roger, c'mon. He's new and if we give it time either he will find people who match him more, or we'll all progress on getting to know him, and he will get to know us."  
John didn't seem to have one thing wrong, he's right. Either I'll migrate into my own crowd or I'll stick with them. Roger doesn't seem to quite get it so he gives a questioning look at them both.

Freddie chimed in, "Just give him a chance!"

Roger sighed and pulled his backpack off his shoulder and sat down next to me, setting the backpack in the ground next to his feet and then looks at my pasta and the others.

"Where's mine?"

________________________________________


	2. I2I - Library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Roger work on a class project together.

I walk close behind Roger through the locker halls, he still wasn't answering any of my questions.

"What's your favorite animal?" 

He turned towards one locker finally and I watched his fingers twist in the combination quickly and he opened it. 

It's been a couple of days, and this man still hasn't really told me anything about him. He's really only been ignoring me. Soon I should just give up, but I'm a champion.

I stand behind his locker door, seeing his hands inside his locker doing something.  
He finally pulls out a notebook and a binder. 

"What are your hobbies?"

And with that, he slams his locker door loudly and turns to me with a rageful glare. I step back a step for my own safety. There's that look he's been giving me all week.

"Can you stop?!"

"I just want to know some more about you, I think you're intriguing," I speak only the truth.

Roger narrows his eyebrows and I watched his face turn red. "Listen, I don't know what's going on in that astrophysics brain of yours, but just because we sit at the same lunch table and you give me answers to questions in English does not mean we're friends!"

I became overly happy by his choice of using "astrophysics" instead of "space". The rest of his response was quite sad, so I don't know how to reply.

He notices my slightly upset look and no reply so he clears his throat and walks closer to me. "You still have your bag," Roger points at my shoulder bag. I look down at it and back up confused. "What about it?"

"Don't you have a locker?"

\---------------------------------------------

After placing my bag in my locker I pull out my English notebook and my planner, shut my locker and turned to Roger with his arms crossed, looking around the halls at different people walking by, or people standing across the way. He finally looks over to me and notices I have my stuff and he shortly smiles. Not friends, huh?

Without a word, we both start walking down the hall towards our first class. There was silence between us for a few moments, then I finally decide to break it.

"So, Roger."  
I make sure I say his full name instead of 'Rog' because he scolded me yesterday.

"What?"

"Anything you'd like to know about me?" I smirked over to him. He cocks his eyebrow at me and looks ahead again to be appearing to be thinking of something to ask. 

"Yeah, explain that curly mess you call hair."

I chuckle, "I like it like this! It makes me unique."

"Yeah, okay." His lips curl into a smile and he turned his head the other way as if he were trying to hide it. I think he's warming up to me.

We finally stop at the classroom door and he crosses his arms looking around at different students. Is he looking for someone? If I ask, he'll probably yell at me again. 

We both don't say anything, but I continue to eye him as he looks at everyone around us but for me. Maybe he doesn't even want to be my friend, but I do. I've never done anything to him.

Just as I try checking the time on my watch, I hear the bell ring loudly. Back to the first period.

\-----------------------------------------

"Alright, class. Listen! We are starting a project today that's due next Monday." Mr. Beach called out at the front of the room, causing everyone to get quiet after I hear a few groans. This was going to be the first project I've ever done in this school, and I'm sure I'll do well.

Mr. Beach grabbed the large stack of papers sitting on his desk and passed four out to every desk in the front of the room for them to pass back to the ones behind. 

The girl in front of me passed back the sheet and I already read over it after glancing at Roger who's tapping his own on the desk and staring at the ceiling, paper faced the opposite way on his desk. It's like he doesn't even care about getting his grades up.

My eyes skim through the paper, it seems like it's just making a poster based off of a specific book going along the lines of 'To the colors, I haven't seen before'. Did the class previously read it before I got here? Am I actually required to read a book for one report?

I look up from the paper as Mr. Beach clears his throat, "You are required to do this project in pairs. Only two people, no more, no less."  
Oh. That makes it a little easier.  
He continues explaining the project, but I figure I'll just read the instructions myself when I get the chance.

Who should I pair up with?

I slowly turn my head to look at Roger, who's Bordley listening to the teacher. It's worth a shot, he's the only guy I pretty much know in this class, even though he sucks ass. Before he can notice me staring at him again, I look back up at Mr. Beach.

"You only have one more day to work on this in class, being tomorrow. But if you want to work on it out of school that's fine too. If it's turned in tomorrow, extra points. This entire project depending on the things you've included from the list, and if it's correct, you can get up to 150 points."

I heard Roger grumble, "Shit," very quietly. I don't think he'll have much of a choice but to work with me. The "smart kid", as he calls me. But hell, I don't even know the book. 

"Any questions?"

I raise my hand. "Yes, Mr. May?"

"I haven't read this book, so what should I do?"

That's when a look of realization appears on his face, "Oh that's right, you weren't here with us when we read it!" He thought for a second, "Just allow whoever you work with tell you what the story is about and you can help out."

Of course, I'm still obligated to do it.

"Go ahead and pair up and if you choose to work on it the last ten minutes of class, I'll provide you with poster board." He walked to his desk and sat down as I watch some people stand up making their ways to their partners. 

I tucked my bottom lip into my mouth and turned my head towards Roger. He was staring at the paper finally turned the right way with his light eyebrows narrowed. He finally looked up at me. "What?"

"Wanna be partners?" I would consider myself very brave for asking him that kind of question.  
He finally sighs shifting in his chair, "Fine, only because everyone in this class sucks and you're my best bet to get me a good grade."

"Aww, thanks!"

"Put a sock in it." Roger grabbed his pencil and scribbled his name onto the instructions sheet and flipped it over to the blank back-side. He draws a bullet point, "Go get the poster," he instructs me. I nod and walk to Mr. Beach's desk to grab one white poster and one of the multi-copy books sitting in a small bin then I go to sit down laying them both down.

"Write the title of the book with this at the top-" he hands me a sharpie and continued writing, and flipping the page over, and turning it over again to write.  
There's no reason for me not to do what he says, we have to get it done even though he's telling me to do things like I'm a dog.

I look at the sheet to copy down the title onto the poster like he said, very neatly and large enough for people to see but gave us room to put answers to the questions. I look back over to Roger writing down stuff. "What are you doing?"

"The answers to the questions," he drops the pencil and popping his knuckles, "This is awful, I know the main events in the book and stuff but I was hardly paying attention to most of it."

"I mean, we could turn it in tomorrow." I was thinking for a moment, we could get it in tomorrow if we had more time to work on it and Roger could have extra credit along with my help. Only if Roger would agree, that is.

"How-"

That's when the bell rings and no one even gave the teacher a chance to dismiss us. I roll up the poster and tie a rubber band around it to keep it rolled, and I grabbed the book, my notebook, and my planner, trying to answer him over the loud noises of people trying to get the hell out of the cramped room. 

"How about we meet after school and work on it? You can tell me about the book and I can help you with the questions and designing the poster." I'm hoping that by the use of saying I'll "help" him with things, that he assumes I mean I'm doing all the work. Sad, but that's probably what he'll think. I've only known him for a few wretched days, but I know how he is.

After being stood up, he grabbed his stuff. "Uhm..." he started to slowly make his way out and I catch up to hear his answer. We got out and stood next to the door, out of the way of people rushing out. Roger sniffles and shoving his left into the front pocket of his black hoodie while the other held his stuff against his body.

"Where and for how long?"

"Maybe the library?" I answer, then recalling I had to be home soon for a "family night" my parents host just to understand what's going on in my life more. We sit at the dining table and then I get A huge hodgepodge of questions. It really only happens every few weeks. A little nosey if you ask me. I think I know where I got my nosiness from.

"I'm fine with a couple hours or less, I have something planned later. Is that fine with your schedule?" I question him. He clicks his tongue looking up at the ceiling for a quick moment. I find it slightly interesting when he does that to either think, or he's in his own little world or something. Roger finally looks down and speaks breaking me from my tight watch on him.

"That's fine I guess," he chuckles, "My mum will probably beat my ass when I get home but I don't really care."

He seems really dedicated to the whole library thing, but it also seems as if he isn't even allowed to. I'm sure if he just explained to his mum that he just needed to stay after with his work partner to finish up a project. It has to be that easy.

"You really don't have to if she won't allow-"

"Worth the grade. Right, Curly?" He interrupted as if he didn't even want to me speak about it anymore. Before I could retort to the name he has given me again, I watch a boy walk behind Roger that I don't recognize. It's hard not to notice his completely black rested hair that's sticking up and slicked back with a lot of gel, along with dark brown eyes that glared at me and looked back at the back of Roger's head. 

"Hello, babe-" hell, even his voice is what I expected from a dude looking like him. I hope he's not as much as a douche as he looks.

Roger, just as startled as I am but instead with a grin, spins around already earning an embrace from this guy. "Hey, Jayden."   
I watched his arms wrap around the taller boy's neck and press his lips onto his. 

Right, so Roger has a boyfriend. 

I felt something odd burn in my chest, just hating watching the two men have a short make-out session. It's probably only because making out in a school hallway is disgusting, no matter who it is. That's why.

I can't help but stare down at the floor.

I don't even notice they stopped until this so-called "Jayden" guy talks, "Who's this?"

I look up and see his arm around Roger's shoulders. Roger doesn't say anything, has his mouth open ready to project words, but nothing comes out. I mean, I don't even know what our thing going on even is.

"He's my friend. He's new here."

Happiness filled my heart, the fact that Roger considered us friends even though he's already told me many times we weren't friends.

"Oh, yeah... whatever." After glaring at me, he turned towards Roger to grip onto his hips, as if he doesn't even care about who I am or where I came from. Well, a lot of people don't I guess. "I was thinking maybe later during lunch we could-"

To prevent myself from hearing anything else that would mentally disturb me, I interrupt, "I'll see you later, Roger." 

And with That, I rushed off down the hall, to where ever my locker is because I'm going to be late for my next class. I can't stop thoughts running into my mind from what just happened.

I've never seen Rog smile like THAT before. He seemed so much happier than he is when he's just around our group of friends. I'm glad he's in a relationship he likes but...

Why don't I support it?

Who am I kidding, it's probably only because I'm surprised a person Roger is actually dating somebody. I'm being ridiculous.

\------------------------------------------------

I dropped the plate with a couple of tamales on it onto the table and I sat down quickly across from Freddie and John, but this time there's no Roger here and I don't even want to think about why, but I can't help myself.  
They're probably having sex in a secret place they shouldn't be right now. The school bathrooms, the janitor's closet, maybe even inside one of their cars.  
I cringed at the thought.  
Breaking me from my thoughts luckily, I watch John snap my face.

"Are you doing alright, Bri? You were staring down at your food weirdly, not even eating it."

Freddie snickers and lifts his fork to point at my food, "If you don't want those, darling, you kind of owe me some foo-"

John grabs Freddie's arm and glares at him. "Fred, not now." He snaps.

"But I forgot to bring money this morning! A big boy's gotta eat!"

I decide to ignore the small argument they're having about my food, and I interrupt with, "So, Roger has a boyfriend?"

Freddie just grows silent after hearing my question and John rolls his eyes letting out a small sigh. "Yes, his name is Jayden. Problem is that, well uh..."

Fred slams his hands in the table and stood up dramatically, causing a scene to everyone around us. "He's a slutty asshole!"

I found a few people looking over confused, but I am probably the most confused about them all. John pulls his friend to sit down, and Fred does with his pouty arms crossed.  
"What do you mean?"

John rubs the outside of his eyes, trying to think but also get over what Freddie just screamed. "Um-"

I play with my fork while looking up at them both. Freddie seems genuine to his response about this Jayden guy, now I'm more curious.

"He's cheated on Roger many times, Roger usually blows it off because he 'loves him'. And he's also just a straight up asshole towards everybody. Roger is just too blind to see that I guess."

This sounds awful! It sounds like Roger is stuck with something unhealthy that he thinks is normal. It's going to really hurt him one day, and I want to keep that from happening. He doesn't deserve it, though he's rude to people he just meets, once you get to know him you would probably know he has a heart and feelings too.

Hell, what am I saying? He hasn't even warmed up to me yet. How do I know if he even has a heart?

"Sounds like an awful person."

Freddie gags loudly, "I hate just thinking about him, can we change the topic?"

I nod slowly, but the only thing I was thinking about during the conversation about all of Freddie's pet cats, was my later "appointment" with Roger.

\--------------------------------------

"Thank you again, Brian, for staying after and helping me clean up, no one ever really helps me." Mrs. Peters, my science teacher, thanked me with a sincere smile.

I picked up my bag and throw it over my shoulder and smile back, now walking towards the door. "It's no biggie! Don't hesitate if you need help cleaning again."  
And with that, I leave the room but then scared of what Roger's reaction would be to me being 20 minutes late to our meet-up would be, so I start running down the empty halls rolled up poster and book in hands.

20 minutes. It was only 20 minutes. I simply just helped my science teacher sweep, clean counters, and desks, and organize a few things after a messy activity we did in the last period.  
He can't be mad, right? Shit, he'll be mad.

I finally see the double doors ahead of me and I rush towards them to pull them open, rushing inside causing loud stomping noises plus the loud of the door I allowed to loudly slam. I look around and see the "sweet" old librarian sitting at her desk, basically glaring at me for the noise.

I mouth the word "sorry" and started calmly walking throughout bookshelves, knowing a few study tables are in the very back.

I look at the large selection of books around me, I'll just have to check a few out later. The place was dimly lit, but just right for people to see the right amount of brightness when reading or something. How can one resist walking through here and not being interested in taking one book and just curling up in the atmosphere in one of the bean bag chairs in the back and reading? It's so calming.

I wonder if Roger has ever read a book.

I try not to distract myself after passing many genres of books I was quite interested in. As of right now, I have to deal with the raging fury of a small, petite man.

I reach the very back area of the library. There are a few brown wood tables around the area and a double bean bag chairs in the corner. I finally spot Roger sitting at a brown table alone, eyes glued to his phone. Not a very enjoyable sight to see.

He's in an amazing library and his eyes are locked on his phone?

I gain confidence and slowly walk over to the table. He looks up when I set my bag on the floor and things on the table and sitting down quickly. He stares at me mouth dropped slightly, the phone still in hand. He's not going to say anything?

"Hel-" I try to greet but then Roger angrily slams his phone turning it over into the table and whisper-yells, "Why the fuck are you late?! You were supposed to be here almost 30 minutes ago!"

I am frantic with my apology because he looks as if he's just about to beat my head in with a hammer. "I know, I'm very sorry. I got caught up in a class."

"You were fucking some whore weren't you?"  
My face quickly heats up because of Roger's stupid assumption. Well, he's one to talk.

This attitude isn't necessary at all.

"No. I was just-"

"Ugh! Forget it, you're calm little voice is so annoying."

So this is how he's going to be. I come to help him on this project and he does this. Awesome.

I try to ignore his insult with a blank and annoyed expression I try to show and I pull the rubber band off of the poster board and unroll it and lay it out. The corners are curved a bit but we'll manage. 

I hesitantly looked up at him to find him glaring at me, causing me to flinch. "W-want to tell me what the book is about? A brief summary of each chapter?" I pick up the book and open it up to a random page and skimming through from there, just to look at anything else besides Roger.

"You think I know, dumbass?" Roger barks, "Just read the damn summary on the back and do the work."

Annoyance runs over me. He actually thinks that he can play off me doing the work and him just sitting there when I wasn't even here to read it. Now realizing it, should I even try being his friend anymore?! He's just being a stuck-up asshole.

"What's your problem?" I whispered, looking up from the book and pushing my eyebrows together. 

"My problem?!" Roger growls. I took a deep breath, I have to stick up for myself.

"Yes, your problem. Here I am, trying to help you on our project even though I clearly know nothing about this book, and you're being an asshole! As always, ever since I met you, you're an asshole. I have done nothing to you."

"Well, curly Have you ever just realized that you're annoying at all, or do I need to fill you in?"

My name is Brian.  
Not going to lie, his words hurt like knives. I'm not going to give him the power of knowing that though.

"Listen, if you really don't want to be my friend, fine. I'm sorry. But please don't insult me and pass it off as if it's okay. I am a human with feelings and a heart. And what have you showed me the last couple of days? Hatred?" I stare down at the almost empty poster and play and bend with the corner awkwardly. No words come from Roger and I don't even want to look up, so I shrug it off and continue,

"Now, please tell me more about the book so we can complete this together."

"I'm sorry." I hear Roger mumble, surprisingly enough. I jerk my head up to look at him with wide eyes. "What was that?"

He was biting his lip and averting his eyes from me every now and then. There's some kind of empathy there. Why do I keep going back to feeling bad? I shouldn't have lashed out, what if I just took it like a man? The bullying would've probably stopped on its own.

"I'm sorry for being like that, I'll tell you about the book and we'll just forget about everything I've said, alright?" Roger's pretty eyes stared into mine for a cold second, before shifting down again. He was talking a lot quieter, and I don't think it's because we are in a library.

\------------------------------------

Roger and I walk next to each other through a row of books, spaced out enough from each other. We managed to finish the poster, and I didn't get insulted or yelled at, at all after the confrontation. I'll have to admit, he's a bit more distant and less talky.

I try to distract myself by looking at all the different books, tightening the tolled up poster a little in my hand when I can only hear our soft footsteps and Roger's quiet breathing in the empty library.  
I have to break the tension.

"So, Rog..." my breath hitched as the shortened name slipped. I looked over to Roger, who has a blank expression looking at Me, not seeming to give a shit that I just called him his popular nickname. "Hm?"

Still, out of slight shock, words swarm through my head and I stammer before finding the right ones. "You... do you like to read?"

Nice question, moron. Of course, he doesn't.

"I mean, I never really do it unless I'm forced. Maybe it would be nice- but I don't even have a library card." Roger chuckled breathily, somehow making me flinch. What am I supposed to say to that?

Then something pops into my head and I stop in my tracks. Roger up a bit ahead of he stops and turns to look at me with a confused expression. "I can check out one for you, just pick any one, or multiple, you find interesting."

Surprisingly, a small smile plays onto Roger's pink lips. "Really?"

I nod frantically and Roger grins wider and starts down the aisle of books down the way we were coming from. He's never been this happy because of me before. It's quite fun to see.

Roger scanning the genre tags and book titles with a thinking face was simply just... cute to say the least. The way his eyebrows lifted, interested at a few titles. The way his head tilts out of curiosity...

Here I am, being a creep again and staring at him like he is a piece of meat. It's only because he's just a very feminine person that's fun to look at. Not any other ludicrous reason.

Roger slid out a book with a red cover, and I looked at the sign with the genre section he was pulling the book out of. Romance/action- he has a taste.

I bite my lip from laughing when he spins around and looks at me with the book in his hand. "How about this?" 

I read aloud the title he was showing me, "You want 'It's Late'?"

He nodded genuinely. I thought he was joking. The book displayed cute little traced hearts on it with the title in blue. "Can you really get it for me?"  
I wonder why he specifically wants this one.

"Yeah, totally!" I happily pull the book from his hands and we start walking up to the entrance again but then stop at the circulation desk and the lady looked up. "I'll check this out, please." I set the book on the counter along with my library card on top of it that I pulled out earlier. Roger stands next to me, slowly rocking his feet back and forth. 

She sighed and scanned the card, along with the books next and clicked a few times on her mouse connected to the computer. "Your due date is September 25th."

"Due date?" Roger asks. I look down at him, puzzled expression. Does he not know what a due date for books is?

"Yeah. That's the day you have to return the book." I simply said. Roger scratches his head, "Oh, thought I would get to keep it."

When was the last time he ever checked out from a library?

I shook my head slowly and looked back at the librarian who handed me the book with a slip of paper inside on page that probably reads the due date, and my card.

"Thank you," I say, handing the book to Roger. We both finally start to walk out and I open up one of the doors from him and he walks through, but his eyes are locked only on the cover. 

We walk next to each other down the hall as he examines the book any way he can. He slid-flipped each page, he smelt it, he read the cover. The one thing I didn't see him to already was even read the summary.

"Did you even read what it was about? Why did you want that book."

Roger doesn't say anything still while looking at the book for a moment and then he says in the softest voice, "I like the genres and the title sounds interesting."

No time ever he looks at me while speaking, and even out of the library he has a soft voice. Did I break him?

"You like romance novels?"

He nods, "They're sweet, and sometimes there are moments in them that I wish happened to me in real life."

My mind wanders. Could he be talking about his boyfriend? Who knows... maybe just the story in general.

"Like what?" I even dared to ask. Roger staring with half-lidded eyes at me and rested the book he was carrying at his side as we walked. 

"You know- romantic stuff. Like sweet kisses, walking through a park, compliments, cuddling. And all the stuff that doesn't have to do with sex all the bloody time!" Roger's words almost sound like a cry for help, and I can't help but feel for him. 

"Don't you have a boyfriend?" I stare ahead, watching the office doors we were finally reaching. I feel the tension rise then and there.

"Nevermind. Just ignore everything I said and forget about it."  
That's all hard to ever forget about, but I'll pretend I did for Roger's sake. "Ok."

We walk into the office, both shuffling our feet against the carpet and made our way to the very front doors, trying not to interact with the desk lady. 

"Have a good day, boys!"

I look at Roger, who's staring down, pushing the door open. Apparently, he's not going to say anything. 

"Thanks, you too," I say and walk outside with Roger and we both stop towards each other. He's shorter than I thought. It's kind of awkward just looking down to him.

"Have a phone number? I think it would be nice to contact you about some things." Roger quickly asked, glancing away as if it were shameful to be asking or something. 

Roger just asked for my phone number? This has to be a sick joke.

"My- My phone number?"

He nods with his eyebrows raised. I breathily laugh, "Yeah! I'll tell you."

He pulls out his phone from his pocket and types as I say my number out loud. "Got it."

I smile awkwardly as we both stand there for a few moments, me looking down, and I'm sure he's looking away as well. The fact that he's trying to be nice makes me happy. Roger finally inhale and says, "Well, I shall be going before my mother kills me."

"R-right, same here."

We both stutter a bit, not knowing what to say or do until I start moving down the road quickly to where my car was somewhere parked. Honestly, I don't know where I parked it yet, I just want to avoid any more awkward moments that could be placed with Roger.

"Thanks, Brian!"

I hear him yell from behind me, my face can't stop the huge grin that appears on my face. But instead of turning around and saying something like an idiot, I continue walking down the street to God knows where.

My parents are going to like this tea.


	3. I3I - Go with the Flow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian's parents learn about Roger and Roger texts Brian for the first time.

I stare at the book poster that's laid out on my desk, adding some more designs for us to get a good grade. I play with the sharpie between my fingers, thinking about if I really need to add anything else. For some reason I always find myself looking at the fancy words small under the title.

'By Brian May & Roger Taylor'

Might be egotistical to think, but the handwriting works so well because the entire poster has some kind of elegant style we both chose. I loved saying both of our full names out loud for some reason and I can't stop reading it. It's like they flow perfectly together or something.

"Brian May and Roger Taylor..." I mumble to myself over and over again. I end up resting my head in my hand and stare at the words that played. "Brian May and Roger Taylor."

Now it seems like I'm not even paying attention to the words on the poster.. my eyes started going blurry. 

"Roger Taylor and Bri-"

"Brian, dinner time!!!" I hear my mum's muffled yell through my door.

Fuck. Family nosey time.

I stand from my desk chair, staring at my hanging, light up planet and stars decorations on my ceiling before opening up my loud door and walking down the hall.

I reach the kitchen to see my father and my mother already sitting at the dining table, food in front of them both and one in front of one empty chair. It looks to be some Green beans and a baked potato on each plate. They both seem to stare into my soul as I go to pull the chair out and sit down.

I slowly pick up the fork rested on the napkin and slowly pick it up, as I watch their hands fold while staring at me. They don't usually do this, especially in the beginnings of "family explain your life night".

"What?" I finally question.

My mom coughed a couple of times into her elbow, "What did you do after school today?"

"As I told you over the phone, I worked on a project with a classmate," I mention honestly, it's like they both seem suspicious or something. I stab into a couple of green beans and shove them into my mouth. At last, they both finally start to eat. 

"Who was the classmate? Your friend?" My father asks, chewing the rest of his food. I sigh quietly and hesitate my words, thinking about current events, "I guess you could say that." 

"What do you mean? Is he or is he not?" He asks again, a bit jokingly with a chuckle. Though he's said it and pretty much apologized, I still really know nothing about him.

"I wouldn't consider him my friend, I don't know anything about him."

"What's his name?" My mother asks with a slight, kind smile.

"Roger," I stare off at the candle in the middle of the table, "His name is Roger."

"Well, why can't you just get to know him more?"

I play with the food with my fork, staring down at it. I wish it was that easy to be his friend. John and Freddie seemed so easy to make friends with, why is Roger so close to them yet so different?

"I would, but he..." I pause trying to think of the right word to describe him, "He keeps to himself."

"Well, what do you know about him already?"

I think for a few moments, about the things I found out the last couple days. I have to fish them from my brain. I look up at them both. "He's blonde with blue eyes, he has a boyfriend..." 

My dad raises his eyebrows gently, "Anything else?"

I don't want to mention the fact that he has been pretty stuck-up, because I know for a fact my mother especially would say to stop interfering with him. And I don't want to because I have faith in him. Especially after I confronted him earlier, he went softer on me.

"He's pretty closed-minded about talking about himself. So I don't know much yet..."

They both stay silent for a few moments and I look back down at my food, now it sounds like I'm complaining. 

"It'll take time to get to know him, Bri. Don't rush it, the more you spend time with him the more you'll know. Just go with the flow and you'll develop a real friendship with him." My mother explains softly.

For some reason I can't think, it almost seems impossible. He doesn't even seem like he wants to open up at all, let alone interfere with me.

"But, he..." I trailed off trying to find some kind of excuse. "He what?" My dad questions.

"Nothing, you're probably right, mum." I rest my head into my head while staring at my food. 

Go with the flow. 

\----------------------------------

I yawn heading back into my bedroom and closing the door. I'm already tired, though I usually go to bed later. I just want to take a quick shower and fall asleep. It's been a long fucking day and I've spent too long thinking about Roger when I really shouldn't be. What's my problem? Why am I so worried about what he thinks of me and why am I worried about being his friend?

I rub my eyes and look over at my phone sitting on my twin-sized bed against my wall, charger plugged into the outlet and connecting to it. There is a small green light turning off and on on the top of my phone, usually meaning I got a text message.

Who could possibly be texting me at this time? I know it's not Roger. It can't be Sally or Paul either, because they're probably asleep right now as they still live in England. And my parents are about to go to bed and I already told then goodnight. Who could it even be?

I slowly make my way over, grabbing my phone and collapsing onto the bed on my back while I hold the phone hovered over my face. I turn it on and read the notification.

1 New Message from: Unknown number.

There's no way.

I narrow my eyebrows and type in my passcode and enter the chat. I freeze and my eyes widen at what the message says.

Unknown: hi. its Roger.

I felt my hands start shaking, he actually took the time to message me. It's crazy and I'm treating it like there's a new planet or something. Suddenly, something stumps my mind. He already knows I just read it. How am I supposed to reply? What would seem cool?!

You: Hey, Roger!!! This is Brian.

Fuck, I shouldn't have used too many exclamation points. This is so embarrassing. I can't delete the message, he already read it. The three dots as he appears to be typing scares the hell out of me. I click on the name to change it to simply "Roger". No emojis, as that's what people name their friends on their phone, right? No emojis. Unless their dating, and like that would ever happen. Not like I would WANT that to happen.

Roger: whatcha doing? 

For some reason, just pitting his name as "Roger" seems so dull. But I'm not even sure what emoji to put, because I know hardly anything about him and he seems pretty deadly. I reply quickly so I could change his name-  
  
You: Just about to get ready for a shower and go to bed. You?

Before he could respond I go to change his name to add the perfect emoji. "Roger☠"  
Perfect.

Roger☠: just finished practicing some difficult things on my instrument ://

Roger plays an instrument? I never would've guessed that someone like him would play anything. Takes one to know one I guess.

You: Wow, cool! What do you play?

Roger☠: no one really knows so dont tell a SOUL but i play the drums pretty decently. A little electric guitar too... but mainly drums.

You: That's cool to know, Roger. Who knows? Maybe we can play together one day. My dad and I built my electric guitar together and we called it "The Red Special". I'm in love !

Roger☠: Thats actually pretty interesting. I figure you both get along

You: of course we do. What about you? I'm sure there's a parent bonding moment right?

Roger☠: eh

Roger☠: my dad never visits by me and my sister and my mum usually always works. Pretty sad- your lucky.

You: I'm sorry about that

Roger☠: its ok 

You: I'll see you tomorrow when we get an A on that project! Night !

Roger☠: ha yeah. Goodnight

I through my phone down beside me, covering my warm face into my hands and groaning. My whole face felt warm. Either it was the nervousness or just maybe me getting sick. For some reason every time he started typing, I would have a tiny freak out. No idea why. And I know it's not because I have some kind of crush on him or something. That's ridiculous! A crush on a guy like him, who also happens to have a scary boyfriend? No way. But why am I fucking considering it in the first place?

I need to take a nice warm shower. Tomorrow is Friday and still going to be a long busy day.

\-------------------------------------

I shut my locker, class things in hand, and causing me to jump out of my fucking socks Freddie appears out of nowhere with a scary fucking grin spread across his face. "OH GOD- Fred, I swear never do that again."  
I rest a shaky hand over my heart. Freddie laughs, "Oh, pathetic! Be a man!" He pats my back harshly.

"I almost dropped my stuff."

"Not like you need it-"

"But-"

"Anyways," Fred leans against the lockers in front of me, "Meet anyone new yet?"

I thought for a few seconds before shaking my head, "Just you, John, and..." I inhale deeply thinking about the messages and almost smiling. "Roger."

Freddie's face goes blank and he narrows his dark brows, "Why are you suddenly blushing? Have a crush on him or something?"

My eyes widen and I back up, "Hell no! No, no, no, no! Never! Don't say that!!"

"Brian, calm down. It was a joke..." he paused looking at the floor, and finally looked up with a smirk somehow adding onto the sentence, "Unless-"

"N-no!"

"I mean, you have to like somebody. There's a lot of attractive people here. Like Chrissie, Chrissie looks at you with heart eyes all the time." Freddie explains. Who was Chrissie again? I'm assuming he me and the brunette girl who always stares at me.

"That girl? Fred, she's pretty and all, but I'm not into girls. And why are you asking me a bunch of stupid questions, huh? What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Who do you have a crush on?"

Freddie sighs and scratches the back of his neck, "I don't know if I should tell you, Bri. It might be weird to think about."

"Do I know them?"

I feel slightly bad for kind of pushing these questions on him to know. Because now he just made me oddly curious. "I don't know."

"Does Rog and Deaky know?"

"Hell no!"

He seemed rushed with the response, so I backed off the topic a little. "It's fine. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

Freddie tried to say something, but for some reason nothing left his mouth, and he simply just rushed past me.

Did I ruin something?


	4. Denying Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddie and John have a theory about Brian.

I watch Freddie eat his salad at the speed of light, John staring at him awkwardly sat next to him. I would be eating my own, but I'm too distracted. Deaky finally speaks up, "Why are you eating so fast?"

I look back at Freddie for a response. He drops his bowl onto the table, some lettuce getting everywhere, "I'm hungry, gotta problem?"

"No. Don't eat too fast or your stomach will-"

Freddie starts eating quickly again, non-stopping. John rolls his eyes and takes a bite of his own food. "Did you tell Brian about tomorrow yet, Fred?"

Freddie stops eating again, he should be done because I really only see pieces of lettuce left and Apparently he was still not done. A look of realization appears on Freddie's face, "Fuck, I forgot-"

It seems like he has completely forgotten about telling me who his crush is, and as curious as I am, I can't push him to tell me. I'll find out soon enough, or not at all. 

"Tell me what?" I question, eyebrows raised.

"Roger isn't here with us at the moment, but usually us three on the weekends go out and do something as friends. Tomorrow we're just going to chill at this park at sunset. Want to join?"

It's shocking that they are allowing me to join a thing they do as a group of friends. Am I considered part of the group?

I try not to grin and I wonder out loud, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, dear! We'll bring food and crap and just relax and talk!" Freddie explains, "And like John mentioned, Roger will be there too-" he innocently winked. This man is crazy! I laugh shyly and start coughing as John slapped his arm. "Freddie, no."

Freddie sarcastically quivered his bottom lip staring at Deaky and then turned back to me and giggled, "coming or not? You can come at about 5:30."

"Sure, if I'm welcomed! Where is this park?"

"We can text you the location- just give me your number," John said, pulling out his phone. 

Maybe they do really see me as their friends now. After giving him my number, I couldn't help but wonder where Roger was. I wonder if he's homesick, he wasn't in class for the first period to see me turn in our project, and he wasn't in any other class I have with him. I've been wanting to talk to him for a while because if the conversation we had last night.

"Do you guys know where Rog is?"

Freddie shook his head and looked at John to see if he knew at all. Not to my surprise, he shakes his head as well. "He's been staying home a lot lately, so he's probably just at home."

"Any idea why?" I ask. They both shrug, "Who knows? This is Roger we're talking about."

The puzzle pieces won't fall into place until I actually ask him or something, but I don't want to be a nosey asshole asking about where he is every second of the day, even though for some reason I always want to know. I take a bite of my salad, staring down. Would he mind it if I asked him? Once again, I don't pay attention to their change if topic about whatever and I space out. 

He would probably mind It, but I'm so fucking curious. Why am I so obsessed, I barely know anything even about him. 

"Brian, you seem distracted." I hear Fred's voice with a concerned tone. I look up and shift my eyes to the side, "I'm not-"

"Is it about Roger? Listen, he's fi--" even though John was trying to make me feel better, my dumbass decides to interrupt him with embarrassment. "It's not about Roger. Why does everything have to be about Roger?!" I slam my hands on the table, almost yelling. John frowns and Freddie speaks up, "Listen, we're just asking. Don't get insecure about It, Bri."

"I'm not getting insecure! The problem is that all the fucking time I'm thinking about Roger and it gets so annoying! You know how annoying it is to always be thinking about someone for no reason?!"

They both stay silent, staring at me with the most confused looks I've ever seen. I decide to continue my rant, "And it sucks when everything you do you are thinking about somebody in the process. I missed instructions in classes because of him!"

"Brian, there's obviously some reason. There's a good reason, I'm sure." John makes a comforting smile, but that just gets me more nervous. What reason possibly is there?

"That makes no sense! I met him only a few days ago, what would the reason possibly be that I think about him 24/7?"  
I'm supposed to be smart, but this stumps me more than many things.

They both slowly looked at each other and back at me with raised eyebrows, like they have an idea or something. "Tell me what you're thinking, please. I just want to have an idea why."

Freddie awkwardly snickers before speaking, "Well, Brian, what can you infer from that?"  
I can't infer anything.  
"That's why I'm asking you guys!"

Freddie threw his hands into the air sarcastically, "Bri, That's right! I forgot that Roger told us about your little meeting in the library!"

I tilt my head slightly to the side. "He- he told you?"

"And he said that you checked out a book for him even though he was being shitty, you checked out a book for him even though he was shitty." He leans in slowly, glaring into my soul.

I think about the fact that Roger acknowledged the fact that he was shitty at first and told John and Freddie about it. It makes me feel a little important, to be talked about by Roger. Wait...

What can I infer?

I find him very attractive, It didn't sit right in my stomach when I found out Roger had a boyfriend, I stare at him in every class I have, I like the way our names sound together, I can't stop thinking about him, freaked out when he texted me, I gave him so many fucking chances even though he was shitty.

"So... I care about him? B-big deal-"

John suddenly face palms and that's when Freddie closes his eyes and breathes out slowly. Freddie stands up and points directly at my face yelling, "Goddamn it, Brian! You have a crush on-" 

Deaky drags him back down, throwing his arm around his shoulders and covering his mouth with that hand as Fred leans into him, eyes slightly widened.

"Brian, I'm pretty sure it means you like him." John re-explains as muffled words come from Freddie.

I freeze right there on the spot.  
It's absolutely ridiculous, but why does it make sense?  
My first reaction is to deny the fact I have any feelings for the tiny man, even though I'm not completely sure.

"I... I do not! It's only been a few days, why would I like him?"

Freddie rips John's hand off of his mouth, "That doesn't matter, Bri, darling! It could be a day or even a whole damn year until you realize you're in love."

"But-" suddenly the bell rings loudly and I watch people all around start to stand up and throw away trash then go back inside through the double doors. I sigh and stand up, throwing my bag over my shoulder. "Brian, just take time to think about it. Remember you are seeing him tomorrow, pay attention to how you feel." John says standing up along with Freddie. Maybe he's right, I should see how I feel. I really hope I don't like him and it's just a friendship thing. Roger has a boyfriend and obviously is not attracted to me.

I see Freddie turn to John, I'll just wait to walk with Freddie to the next class we have together. "Deaky, I wanted to ask you something real quick."

"Can't you ask me after school?" He chuckled a bit, gesturing all of the people bumping into then trying to scurry out.

"Actually I just wanted to-"

That's when a girl appears next to Deaky randomly, short brown hair with a happy grin on her face. I watch Freddie's mouth close and he awkwardly sticks his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket, trying to smile. For some reason, he looks uncomfortable, but when John looks at her it seems like his whole world just lit up as a bright smile appears on his face. 

She waved, "Hiya, Deaks!"

"H-hey Ronnie!"

Though he seems really happy that she's here, I can't help but notice a tinge of nervousness. It kind of reminds me of me around Roger.

She turns to Freddie, "Hey, Freddie!" 

"Hi Veronica.," Freddie says softly with a tiny smile. That's when she turns at me standing there across the table. She gave me a confused look as if I were stalking the three of them. "Who's..." she paused looking at John.

"Oh! This is Brian. He's new here," he turned to me, "And Brian, this is Veronica. My actual freshman friend."

"Nice to meet you, Brian." She says, holding a hand out over the table for me to shake it. She had the sweetest smile, it's almost like her eyes are smiling too, it's so comforting.

I smile as I shake her hand, "Nice to meet you too, Veronica."

"We better start heading to class, Johnny." She says, pulling her hand away and turning back to John. "Ah, you're right."

"I'll race ya!" She pushed his shoulder jokingly and ran off. John laughed and ran after her, it was adorable, like two little kids or something. Now it's just me and Fred. I walk around and stand next to him. "Ready?"

He looks up and turns to me, "Y-yeah!"

\---------------------------------------------------

I double-check that I'm at the right park by looking at the maps on my phone after parking my old car. After realizing it was the right place, I place my phone into my pocket and get out of the car, shutting the door and locking the car with keys in hand. 

I place the keys into my pocket and walk onto the sidewalk, examining if I parked straight enough. I couldn't help but notice the fucking nice ass g-wagon a couple of cars over from mine. It was so clean, and not at a rich park because this park already seems a little worn down. I turn to see breaking fences that are bent and dead grass leading into the park. Whoever owns that car really shouldn't be here.

I notice kids playing at a basketball court, people jogging, and finally, I spit from afar three men sitting on top of a bench table, facing the sun. Hard to see, but I can recognize blonde long-ish hair, black hair, and brown long hair all sitting in a line.  
I assume that's them.

I put my hands into the pockets of my black button-up jacket and hesitantly make my way down over there.

I finally reach them and stand next to the table. "Hey, guys. Sorry if I'm a little late." I slowly apologize with a smile. They all look over to me. 

Roger is sitting on the side closest to me standing, a cigarette between his lips, looking up at me with blue eyes with a blank expression. I hold my breath. You don't like him, Brian. Ignore how pretty he looks in a large hoodie.

"Hey, Brian!" Deaky says with a smile. "Brian, dear, we were waiting for you so John and I can go buy some ice cream for everyone at the ice cream truck down the street."

Freddie stands up from the table and so does John. I look at Roger again to hunches his back sitting criss-cross on top of the table and stared down, blowing out a puff of smoke. He doesn't even want to greet me?

"What flavor you want?" John quickly asks. I turn to him and think for a moment, "Any is fine, thank you. I can pay back when-"

"No, No! It's on us!" Freddie says happily and looks over at Roger and then puts on a concerned look, "You okay, dear?"

Roger turns his head to look up at Freddie and nods with droopy eyes, "Mmhm."  
He really doesn't seem like he's okay, but I shouldn't pressure him. Maybe he is okay. Maybe he's just lost in his thoughts about things like me all the time. Except for the fact that it's all about him that I'm thinking about.

"Alright, what flavor?"

"Eh- I'm good, thanks."

"You sure, Rog?" John chimes in. Roger nods his head with a tiny smile. They both nod and jog off. I then realize that now it's just me and Roger. Just us.

I bite my lip and look towards the ground. What should I even say?  
Roger manages to beat me from saying anything, "Are you gonna sit or just stand there like a scarecrow or some shit?"

_________________________________

**Author's Note:**

> My first book on Archive! I really hope you guys enjoyed this first chapter :)
> 
> -Abbigale


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